goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
