i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
