I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
home. puking in laundry basket.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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