I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
