I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize