Me too!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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