So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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