Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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