you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
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The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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