why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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