The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
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