Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I seem to have left my pride at pride
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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