Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize