I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
