Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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