No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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