ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Everything about him screamed your future.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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