Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
