well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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