I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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