you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
