Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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