And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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