you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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