Im at strip club and am horny
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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