im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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