Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
