never play flip cup with pint glasses
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
