I am puke
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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