I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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