I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
