just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
