So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
