OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
