I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize