I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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