remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
