I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
