How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
