But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
