Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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