I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
