i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
