ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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