It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
