If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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