Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
