ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
