your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize