We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
