ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
