Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
