I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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