i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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