Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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