They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
