I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
