Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You don't make any sense
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