he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
