Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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