I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Still dying that you shit outside
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
