Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
