where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
