I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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