I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
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You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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